Becoming the Person You Want to Be: Why "Being" Comes Before "Having"
Many of us find ourselves caught in a pattern of thinking, “Once I have [X], then I’ll finally be able to do [Y], and then I’ll become [Z].” It seems logical to wait until circumstances align or we have the “right” resources to begin living the life we envision. However, here’s the paradox, to actually have the life you want, the process begins with being the person who already has it.
Why Waiting to "Have" Keeps You Stuck
The "have, do, be" mentality often stems from our craving for certainty. We convince ourselves that once we possess the right resources, time, or support, taking action towards our goals will be effortless. However, this outlook traps us in a waiting game. We passively hope that someday we'll feel ready to step into our ideal life.
This cycle of waiting creates distance between who we are today and who we want to become. Instead of growing into that future self, we become more ingrained in the person we are right now, reinforcing the same routines, habits, and mindsets that hold us back.
The Power of "Be, Do, Have"
The “be, do, have” principle is a mindset shift that focuses on embodying who you want to become right now, rather than waiting for external factors to “prepare” you. By choosing to act as if you’re already the person you want to be, you’re far more likely to adopt the behaviours, habits, and decisions that eventually create your desired life.
Think of it as reverse-engineering your identity:
Be: Decide who you want to be. Identify the values, traits, habits, and mindset of your future self. Maybe it’s a confident leader, a resilient parent, or an artist who makes time for their craft.
Do: Start doing what this person would do. What actions align with this identity? Start practicing those today, even if they’re small, imperfect steps.
Have: Over time, by consistently “being” and “doing,” you start to “have” the life you envision. The resources, opportunities, and relationships that seemed out of reach begin to naturally align with your choices.
Getting Practical: Steps to Shift from “Have, Do, Be” to “Be, Do, Have”
Visualise Your Future Self: Take a moment to clearly envision who you want to become. Imagine what their daily life looks like, how they handle challenges, and what values they live by.
Identify Key Habits and Mindsets: Break down the core habits, mindsets, and behaviours of your future self. If they’re disciplined, start with a manageable practice that reflects discipline today. If they’re creative, make time for a small creative endeavour.
Take Small, Consistent Actions: Instead of waiting for a “big start,” focus on making consistent, small steps. These actions don’t have to be perfect, but they should align with your future identity.
Embrace Growth Over Perfection: The process won’t always be smooth, and setbacks may feel discouraging. But each time you take a step, you’re reinforcing that identity, gradually building toward the life you envision.
Embracing the Journey of Becoming
The journey of “being” before “having” asks us to let go of waiting, to commit to our vision wholeheartedly, and to realise that we already hold the power to shape our lives. It’s about believing that you don’t need to wait to start living fully or authentically. Instead, by embracing who you want to become now, you’re creating a path that feels genuine and alive with purpose.
Ready to Begin?
If you’re ready to explore what it means to become the person you truly want to be, let’s take that step together. Book a consultation today, and let’s start building the future you envision one intentional choice at a time.