Waiting for Motivation? A Psychotherapist’s Guide to Taking Action
The Motivation Myth: Why We Get Stuck
You know the feeling. You tell yourself you’ll start tomorrow. Or next week. When things settle down. When you feel ready. But the days roll by, and that moment never quite arrives.
We like to think that motivation is what gets us moving. That one day, we’ll wake up inspired, energised, and ready to act. But here’s the uncomfortable truth:
Motivation is unreliable.
It’s a byproduct of action, not the cause of it.
If you wait to feel ready, you may never start.
As a psychotherapist, I see this all the time, I feel this all the time. Clients come to counselling feeling stuck, believing their lack of motivation is a personal failing. It’s not. It’s neuroscience. And understanding this is the first step toward breaking free from inertia.
The Neuroscience of Inertia: Why Your Brain Resists Change
If you’ve ever struggled to start something, even something you want to do, there’s a reason. Your brain is wired to resist effort.
The Brain Prefers Energy Conservation - Evolution has designed us to seek efficiency. New habits and changes require effort, which your brain instinctively avoids unless necessary.
Action Activates Dopamine, Not the Other Way Around - Motivation isn’t a starting point, it’s a result. Dopamine, the brain’s reward chemical, is released after you take action, reinforcing momentum.
Unfamiliarity Triggers Resistance - Change, even positive change, can feel threatening. This is why people often avoid what they know would help them.
This is why we can’t rely on motivation. The brain isn’t wired for spontaneous inspiration, it’s wired for momentum.
The Key to Change? Action First, Motivation Follows
We often assume motivation leads to action. But in reality:
Action → Dopamine → Motivation → More Action
This is why people who start exercising, even reluctantly, often want to continue after a few sessions. It’s why writers who struggle with blank pages find their flow after typing the first few sentences.
Taking the first step, even if it’s tiny, kickstarts the brain’s reward system. In therapy, we don’t focus on waiting for the right moment. We create small, intentional steps that get the momentum going.
How Counselling Helps You Break Through Inertia
Counselling isn’t about “finding motivation.” It’s about building systems that make motivation irrelevant.
In therapy, we work on:
Lowering the Activation Barrier - Making it as easy as possible to start. Instead of “go for a run,” the goal might be “put on running shoes and step outside.”
Accountability & External Structure - Having someone to check in with (whether a therapist or a friend) creates commitment.
Challenging the Inner Narrative - Many people hold subconscious beliefs like "If I don’t feel motivated, it means I’m lazy." Therapy helps break these self-judgments.
Psychotherapy Tools to Get You Unstuck
The 5-Minute Rule – If a task feels overwhelming, commit to just five minutes. Once started, the resistance fades.
Identity-Based Habits – Instead of, “I have to go for a run,” shift to, “I am the kind of person who moves my body daily.” This reframes behaviour from obligation to identity.
The ‘Future You’ Exercise – Make choices from the perspective of your future self. What would they want you to do today?
These techniques work because they bypass the need for motivation. They make action inevitable.
The Role of Psychotherapy: Why Support Matters
Many people assume they should be able to push through on their own. But inertia isn’t just a willpower problem, it’s often linked to anxiety, perfectionism, or past experiences that have shaped avoidance patterns.
This is where psychotherapy comes in. A therapist doesn’t just listen, they help you untangle what’s keeping you stuck and develop practical, psychology-backed strategies to move forward.
Take the First Step Today
If you’ve been waiting for motivation, consider this your sign to stop waiting.
As a psychotherapist, I work with people every day who feel trapped in inaction. The key to change isn’t willpower, it’s structure, support, and learning how to take small, consistent steps.
Book a psychotherapy session today and take the first step toward lasting change.