Why You Already Know What to Do… But Still Don’t Do It

The Psychology of Self-Sabotage, Avoidance, and Procrastination

Ever found yourself stuck in a loop of knowing exactly what needs to change but somehow not acting on it? You tell yourself you should exercise, set boundaries, quit drinking, or finally start that project. Yet, you hesitate, stall, and rationalise inaction.

This isn’t laziness. It’s human psychology at work.

Why We Get Stuck: The Psychology of Inaction

The Comfort of the Familiar

Change is uncomfortable. Even when we logically know something is better for us, the brain prefers familiarity over uncertainty. Sticking to old habits, even destructive ones, feels safer than stepping into the unknown. This is why people stay in toxic relationships, dead-end jobs, or unhealthy routines.

Emotional Resistance > Logic

We assume that once we "know better," we’ll "do better." But emotions run the show more than we like to admit. Fear, self-doubt, guilt, or even unresolved past experiences can override rational decision-making.

• "If I start this project and fail, what does that say about me?"

• "What if I set boundaries and people get upset?"

• "If I let go of this habit, who even am I without it?"

Perfectionism as a Trap

Procrastination often masquerades as "waiting for the right time." The perfect conditions never come, so action is endlessly postponed. Perfectionism isn’t about high standards; it’s about fear of failure.

The Dopamine Loop of Avoidance

Each time you avoid discomfort (scrolling instead of working, binge-watching instead of exercising), your brain rewards you with a small dopamine hit. This reinforces avoidance, making it even harder to break the cycle.

How Therapy Bridges the Gap Between Knowledge and Action

Therapy isn’t about giving you advice you already know. It’s about understanding why you’re resisting action and helping you move through it.

• Recognising emotional barriers - Identifying fears, doubts, and old narratives that keep you stuck.

• Challenging avoidance patterns - Learning how to sit with discomfort rather than escape it.

• Accountability and perspective - Having a therapist challenge your rationalisations and provide support in taking real steps forward.

How to Stop Overthinking and Start Moving

Lower the Bar for Action

Instead of waiting for motivation, shrink the task to something manageable. Want to exercise? Start with five minutes. Need to have a hard conversation? Write down one sentence.

Do the Thing Before You Feel Ready

Most people think motivation comes first, then action follows. But it’s often the opposite, action creates motivation.

Make Discomfort Your Compass

The thing you’re avoiding? That’s probably exactly where you need to go. Growth always feels uncomfortable at first.

Break the Dopamine Loop of Avoidance

Recognise when you’re opting for short-term comfort at the expense of long-term growth. Replace avoidance behaviours with small, intentional actions.

Get Support

If self-sabotage keeps showing up, therapy can help. The patterns keeping you stuck won’t just disappear with "more willpower." You need a greater understanding of them and their efficacy and tools to work through them.

Final Thought: Stop Waiting, Start Moving

If you’re waiting for the perfect time, the right mood, or some magical moment of inspiration… stop! You already know what you need to do. Take the first imperfect step.

If you need help getting unstuck, therapy can be the bridge between knowing and doing. Let’s talk.