Embracing Regret: A Samhain Reflection on Growth and Renewal

As some mark Samhain—a time when tradition teaches to reflect on the past and let go of what no longer serves us—there’s an opportunity to think about how our lives have shaped us, and what we may want to reshape moving forward. Regret can be an important part of this process, even though it’s often an uncomfortable one. Rather than being an enemy, regret can be a powerful reminder of our values, urging us toward change, growth, and even greater kindness to ourselves and others.

Regret reminds us of choices we might have made differently. We may regret failing to show up fully, missing opportunities for courage, or letting kindness take a back seat in times of stress. At the heart of regret is empathy—a sense that we know we could have made a more compassionate or courageous choice. While it’s natural to avoid thinking about these moments, there’s wisdom in facing them. By listening to our regrets, we allow ourselves to reconnect with our values and learn what we need to live a more meaningful life.

Samhain traditionally marks the thinning of boundaries—between seasons, and, in some beliefs, between worlds. Similarly, this time can be one for loosening our own internal boundaries, gently exploring past decisions, and allowing space for our regrets to surface without judgment. It’s about understanding that we don’t need to live without regret, but rather to live in harmony with it as a guide.

Regret isn’t here to hold us down; it’s here to teach us what’s possible. It reminds us that we can be braver, that we can show up more fully, that we have opportunities to move forward with kindness. This isn’t about dwelling on the past but about learning from it, using these lessons as markers on our personal journeys.

As the year turns and we reflect on what we wish to carry forward, psychotherapy can provide a supportive space to explore these themes. Together, we can examine the messages your regrets may hold and discover how they can guide you toward a future in line with your values. This season, I invite you to consider regret not as a burden but as a doorway—a chance to reconnect, reflect, and move forward with intention and courage.